gastown 01

Security unsure spots sleeping guy likely without cash or home - and so, security will figure, without right to sit at food court table whether he is sleeping or is not - security insecure calling into his shoulder placed communicator like cops on TV show and science fiction fighters of some sort, pacing back and forth, calling for backup and advice and calling in the situation before he even goes right in to face the sleeping vagrant homeless guy - young guy more or less, sleeping with head down on fast food table nearly empty court with lots of seats and tables and he's not even snoring, and no one noticed him until insecure security had spotted him dressed all in black with some facial hair and that tanned sort of look of someone who always usually is found outside, black baseball hat, the whole regalia a sort of uniform for kids and adults youngish in their twenties up to thirty there-abouts - he is awakened grumpy sure like anybody can be often when they first wake up - they're having a discussion the details which boil down to him being asked to leave and him trying to negotiate some peace if not for sleeping then for sitting there at least - and security insecure older maybe 40 guy with hair loss and what's left is turning grey fast, in good shape and with sort of a youngish way about him anyway, pacing nervous trying to be firm not looking used to it talking into safety blanket walkie-talkie thing pointing to the door to the world outside, get thee hence - castaway, cast out from the garden food court plastic chairs, bad food, bad lighting, crowd moving from hotel, crowd moving into working morning, young guys like around the same age as the vagrant guy who are secure who are high and mighty hubris with their happy to be working a cool job involved in making games in one way or another and why shouldn't they be, he could've been too maybe under different circumstances, but he's not, he's caught here sleeping trying to - now trying to stay at least stay inside not be banished once again, awake, indignant, angry exile - and it shows again that everywhere you go really now more and more is somewhere you must pay some way to be there whether it is said to be a public place or not - heading as we are into time and place, into world, in other words, of less and less freedom - the price will be figured out as you go along and the payment method changes too - if you've acquired a backstage pass, then more subtle payment is required -

And as the guy is sent back out into the world like stray cat not wanted here not cute kitten not trusty household cat not loyal dog no that must be security I guess who barks him back out where he is meant to be, where he apparently belongs, the insecure secure more secure more convinced for having managed in the deed of making him go out - the stray cat with the clothes and look of someone many here would naturally be wary off obeys the older guy guard master of the household rules whose not any bigger and not nearly as foreboding to anybody he's in service to, despite official uniform and the connection to a wider force, a gang, the sense of more potentially more force of law and order, perhaps that is the force that moves the man, well certainly it is the force of everything that's on his side, the force the law the benefit of the doubt unmatchable - and there is no point - no real desire for violence, there's only asking to be given mercy and knowing there's no way that it's going to be granted here today - out the stray cat vagrant sleepless homeless castaway is cast away from public space food court these seats are reserved for our customers, no customer potential here - out he storms angry and frustrated and who no doubt also feels betrayed by this and more than this - the more secure security follows after him making sure he goes as far as he's supposed to go -

I look at my tea and muffin and I know this payment's tenuous - my admission's limited - I may be slightly more better dressed but I haven't shaved today, so my membership's available for questioning - I am available for scrutiny - already I apply it to myself - am I fitting in? - am I allowed to be here? - and underneath my approved of not punk or motorcycle style leather jacket my clothes are not so different than his wearing old grunge style flannel shirt snaps I bought 13 years ago at woodworths the primal scene of downtown desecration now imploded and being now built up again into condominiums like the tarot card the tower that's a structure that is torn down only to be built again and so on in that cycle that is building to the sky like babel tower - I feel it - the tower is our state being safe secure paid up membership belonging under the umbrella of the food court and secure security - everybody knows it - and everybody knows can tell there's something not quite right about me here, my dues are slightly in arrears - I likely don't belong - at least I worry that might be - and I wonder is there anybody else unsure of whether they have paid their fee and are qualified enough to escape suspicious scrutiny by security the next time that they make their rounds - when the tea's done and the muffin gone - I'd better stay awake - I had better go stepping sure like I have a place to go - be sure be certain - keep on moving, don't stop, be sure to have a payment ready should you need to illustrate some proof of membership - you got to have the payment ready -

And as I'm writing nursing tea - young girls walk by through food court mall tied closely to hotel and to harbour and to nexus of the city's thriving driven industry - old established business of the docks, the trains carry cargo from the freighters that the dinosaur cranes off-load and set upon the trains - so the oldest and the newest industry are consigned to old same area where the origin and limit, and perhaps demise, of the city coexist with tourists walking quaint old streets looking at old quaint building structures housing new production places for animation, movie, TV, advertising and their connected businesses - and with tourists walking idly are the employees walking quickly hubris sometimes showing but their eyes cast down upon the ground avoiding any contact with the eyes of the lost - the homeless vagrants and the let loose ill of mind crazy and old style drunks and newer style junkies of crack and heroin and meth and god knows what else - there mixing too the old and new - old burnt-out drunks sleeping there in old style skid row flop houses next to new style insane priced condominium urban lifestyle purchases where those who are more dispossessed than even skid row drunks set up cardboard or whatever and bunk down in the doorway of the reconstructed buildings luxury within next to clubs and bars and kids coming in from further out dreaming of the urban life style - diving in for feel or test the waters of that imagined living style and also for relief from education preparation for the ritual of dealing with the regulation work live play that they need to pay for more and more each day - coming in they are to drink get drunk let loose and thereby blending once again and more within this old part of town which is really the whole town - which is its heart and mind from promise start ecstatic working stars and tourist witnesses of buzz and steam-clock and art galleries pubs and small cafes to outcast derelict finished defeated but grasping clutching and insisting look at me and give me something back of what I had you have I want you to give a piece of it to me they say because they know they are a part of large unwieldy commerce living which is nearly all of what any living can be at this heart this hub - they know they are a part of cycle's greater picture and they ask their due - they take it to the lineup every day and every night the waste that is recycled that they're paid for being commerce scavengers and like birds in mouths of alligators cleaning teeth they dive into the danger and are perceived as dangerous as carriers of everything that everybody wishes to ignore evade avoid -

And who are they? - they have their uniform - everybody checks for badges - sometimes anyone can get it wrong - but some things are unmistakable - pajamas could go either way - other factors are at play in order to determine is it crazy lost soul or teenage girl faddish saying what - something about comfort? - while invoking image of the night and bed? - sex with innocence, teddy bears, pillow fight sleep-overs talk of boys and girls, and movie stars and other sorts of stars, sneak a drink of wine, and who fits in and who does not and who they like and who they don't - cute with hormones, and interest newly lit up, and running with a conscious knowledge of what's in fashion and of the social pecking order - and fashion being also that which waves a certain kind of statement flag, while at the same time being fluid with whatever might be said to be the meaning - challenging its source it's inspiration contending with its meaning for its own which is just a badge of membership - your ticket you bought your reservation so to speak holds a place for you for a limited time only - which the vagrant derelict delinquent junky crazy thief is telling you reminding you - and you fear and hate them for it as they hate you for so doing -

It's sad and sadder and mad and madder and glad and gladder - and where to put your eyes is everybody's guess -