Explanation and Description

Explanation and description are a bore. It may be necessary and it may be popular, but it really is a bore to be the one who has to do it.

I have been trying to explain and to describe some things that have happened and I've done. And it starts out seeming like a good idea to do it. And I think of it a little bit as being necessary in the context of a history, but it really is a bore, and it is not satisfying. And why should I bother writing anything that isn't satisfying?

It might be interesting to someone, but that is not a reason to be doing it because anything of course, no matter what it is, might be interesting to someone. That sense of doing something for someone who just might find it interesting is a bit tied up with notions of something being necessary. It might be necessary in some way, but it really is a bore, and as far as I'm concerned, it isn't offering that much of anything that's interesting to me in writing it.

I do sometimes think about such things that some would think are necessary to be said to make the history be known. I do think about the history. And I am engaged to think of it. I am entertained sometimes by thinking of it, and by remembering what happened, and what I thought and felt about it at the time, and what I think and feel about it now. And sometimes I can tell it to someone, and this can be a conversation, which can be agreeable, or not. But writing it is not an interesting thing to do.

It does sometimes seem to be as though it would interesting, and then it's not. And I wonder about that because I wonder just what is it that I think is interesting and could I write it in a way that's interesting?

Sometimes this does work out, and I wonder what the difference is, and it is important that I do remember what the difference is whenever I'm inclined to write the history as if I were explaining and describing something that had happened with what I thought and felt about it at the time and what I think and feel about it now or any other time that is not the time when it was happening to start with.

For instance, I have been trying to write the story about the first time I launched Monkey. It was a thing, and I like to think about it, and sometimes I tell someone about it in some way, but I cannot write about it without stopping it, the writing, because it bores me to be writing it the way that I am writing it, even though I think it might be interesting or perhaps a good idea to write about it because I think I want to document some things about what Monkey is for me and write about the writing of my novel Monkey.

But I have started twice and both times I have stopped because I wasn't getting it. I wasn't getting what was interesting. There is, maybe there is something that is interesting to me about what happened that could be interesting to write about, but I haven't found it in my writing about the first launch yet. I do know what it is, but I haven't written it, not yet. And I know that it is hard because I keep describing and explaining because I think it's necessary to be doing that before I do get into what I think is interesting. But who can bother waiting?

I can't bother waiting, and so why should I expect that anybody else would bother waiting either? While anyone is waiting the interest is just waning and is dissipating, so I shall not bother waiting.

And so I did, finally I went and wrote the piece the way that it was interesting for me to write it. And now it's there.